We've All Thought It, Life Isn't Fair

My third grade teacher

Mr. Wright always use to say

(usually after I had complained about a grade)

Well Tilly, "Life isn't fair."

And as I have experienced a little more of life

I've found 

that he's right. 

Well. Kind of.

There's something that he left out,

and I learned this valuable lesson my freshman year at BYU.

I was in my mission prep class and on page 52 of "Preach my Gospel"

I read,

"All that is unfair about life

can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ."

Over the past couple of years

I've thought about this truth multiple times.

When someone questions

God's Love, or Power,

the age old question,

 "Why do bad things happen to good people?"

Or, "How could God let this happen?"

It's because he has already put a plan in place

to take care of all of that.

A perfect plan.

A beautiful endless plan

that saves all of us from the "unfair."

So sometimes when life is hard,

when it seems like everyone is happier

or better off,

when it seems like life just isn't worth it,

and that waking up is the worst part of the day.

Just remember,

The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers and erases

everything that is unfair.

Heavenly Father knows our circumstances

and loves us.

He wants what's best for us,

and in the end that's what we'll get.

My Mountains to Climb

When I'm in emotional turmoil

I try to climb mountains.

Literally. 

(Mt. Shasta, which I've never actually climbed)

I choose a mountain, I look up to the top

and I show that mountain 

who's boss.

There's something about being scared,

being alone, 

and doing something all on my own.

One time I chose a Mountain that was almost too much for me.

I climbed to the top, and after about an hour of sitting there

I decided that I wanted to go back down.

But on the way down

I found myself in a sticky situation.

I needed help.

It was getting dark and the cliffs were really steep.

So, you know what I did?

Yup. I called my mommy.

She was kind of mad at me for getting her all freaked out.

She thought I was going to fall off and I would never see her again.

(What a drama queen!)

Of course I made it down.
(After a couple of whispered prayers)

and it felt Grrrreat!

I've since learned that doing scary things is so important

for my growth.

Climbing mountains is hard, 

and that's why I think I like it so much.

Because when I look back up from the bottom and see what I just endured

a feeling of accomplishment comes to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdN8rfwW3SI&feature=share

I can say to myself, I can do this.

Whatever it is I must do

I can do it. 

And this morning was no different.

I went up Rock Canyon,

I found a Mountain, and I climbed it.



And, although the mountain wasn't that tall
I still felt so great when I was at the top looking down.

And I know that's just how our trials are
sometimes we need to call on the help of our Heavenly Father.
Sometimes we need to look back up at what we did and we can
say to ourselves: I did that.

I know that climbing mountains makes me stronger
and best of all it helps me become better. 

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/mountains-to-climb?lang=eng

My View on Power Lines

Yesterday,

After a long day I decided to rest and watch some college basketball.

The curtains were pushed to the side so when I laid on the couch

 I got a view of the Wasatch Mountains.

However, the first thing that I thought of was,
"Dang, I wish those power lines weren't in the way...

I would have a much better view."

As soon as this sneaky thought entered my mind

I thought of Kim (Now Sister Bennett.)

One evening as the sun was setting

I walked into our apartment

to find her at her easel.

Sitting in the same living room, 

looking at those same mountains.

With paintbrush in hand, and a smile on her face

the first thing she said to me as she turned around, 

"Tilly! I love POWER LINES!"

She looked at those mountains

and instead of wishing the power lines away

she embraced their edges and dark lines.

She loved those power lines because

she looked at them in a positive way.

 To her, they were beautiful.

And last night is when I FINALLY REALIZED that

Being positive has little to do with your View, and everything to do with your Perspective.



This fact was solidified in my mind last week.
I was working on being positive and FAILING miserably
 I then read this,
"A man's a fool who takes an insult that isn't intended."
An insult? Or a compliment? It all depends on your PERSPECTIVE.

So, this week I decided that I trusted everyone.
I decided that my friends love me,
that the people I work with love me.
That my teachers want me to get A's.
I decided I loved my job, my major, my LIFE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM7J6aEWlPM



Because. 
I can either take what people say as
a compliment
or 
an insult. 
Either way I get to choose how I feel.

I can take my life for granted, 
or I can embrace my imperfections.

And I decided. I love power lines.

The Most Amazing Thing

The Most Amazing Thing happened to me this morning...

And I would like to sincerely share my testimony about it. 

I awoke feeling anxious and fearful.

 Of what? 

I'm not quite sure.

But I know that my heart was beating faster than it normally does

 and my mind seemed to be skipping from one uneasy thought to the next. 

My stomach felt sick. 

I got in the shower, hoping that would relax me.

It didn't.

I decided to start reading a book called "Coping with Anxiety"

(Thank you Kimberly Bennet)

Hoping that would help.

Although the relaxation breathing and meditating did calm me down a bit

it didn't seem to get at the root of my discomfort.

And then my roommate Heather came in, turned on byutv and Elder Uchtdorf was speaking. 

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/the-love-of-god?lang=eng

The talk was titled "The Love of God".

We listened intently and soon, tears came to my eyes. 

I don't remember what he was talking about exactly, but he said the words, 

"...try, and keep on trying."

That was just what I needed to hear.

 I needed to hear that my Heavenly Father will continue to love me.

He wants me to try, and keep trying...and he'll always help me.

I went into my room, and listened to my "self-talk".

It was completely different from before.

I was COUNTING BLESSINGS.

I was ACKNOWLEDGING POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES of others instead of their shortcomings.

I wanted to be around others, instead of by myself. 

I felt HAPPY and PEACEFUL.

I asked myself, what changed? 

How did this happen? 

Why did I feel so bad, and then feel so different?

I know why, and I want you to know that I know.

It's because:

I have a loving Father in Heaven. 

Who helps me day to day, and moment to moment. 

He knows my fears and trials. 

He knows the intents of my heart.

He knows that I want to know Him and follow Him.

The Love of the Savior transforms our hearts when we cannot do it ourselves. 

His love is infinite and penetrating. 

I began to realize that all of the attributes I've been blogging about,

I only have those when I have the Love of the Savior in my heart.

He helps me grow and learn.

HE helps me Become Better. 

Charity, The Last Time I Heard Her Voice

I have found that Charity is not just giving something tangible.

Charity is the light in our eyes, and the smile on our face. 

It's the feeling in our heart.

Charity is defined by the kind words that we speak, and the actions that follow.

It is when we kneel in prayer on behalf of another.

It is when tears of sympathy run down our faces for our friends that we feel this "Charity".

Charity is found when we follow the promptings that come from deep down in our souls. When we know we should do something, because we are loving. And then we do it.

The past couple of weeks I've really been working on Charity.

And I really do think there's something to it.

About three months ago I got a phone call from my mother. She was at the hospital visiting her mother and she told me that Grandma had some time to talk to me.

I sighed within myself, if I talked to my Grandma I would be late for class, I would miss the quiz, I might not do well on my test, blah blah blah.

And then within my soul I was reaffirmed that the most important thing in this world is my family. 

So we talked. We talked about haircuts and cold feet.

Nothing that seemed that important.

But, I did tell her I loved her, and she told me that she loved me back.

And that was the last time I ever heard my sweet grandmothers voice. 

The funny thing about Charity is that we often trick ourselves into thinking it's all about the other person. That we give give give, and don't receive. But never in my experience has that been the case. I always receive blessings.

A Tale of Two Kims, My Predisposition

Over the years I have found that I just really love people named Kim.

I think Heavenly Father thought it might be hard for me to make friends so he planted a little pattern called, "I'll name all your best friends Kim," and then he hoped that I would catch on.

Well, looks like I've finally caught on!

And I've decided to give a special shout out to two very special Kims in my life.

I'll go in order of when I met them, not order of importance (cause they're both so great)

First....Kimberly Ahlstrom (Friden):

When I became friends with this girl I was only in 7th or 8th grade, and she was in High School.

She is one of the best friends I have ever had. 

Kim is really amazing, she has always cared about me and given me advice (especially about boys ).

One time we had a water drinking contests when we got really bored, dumb...dumb idea.

Another time we cooked rotten bacon and it made the whole house smell really gross.

Most of all though, Kim was always just a friend, the friend I could have sleep overs with , go shopping with, and have lunch with.

I remember when she got engaged to her best friend Shane, I was so happy I thought I would die.

 But it got better, after they got married they were blessed with a stinkin' cute little boy, Jeremy. 

I'm so happy for Kim and the wonderful example of a righteous woman that she is. Kimmie, you have taught me so much, and have somehow managed to help keep me on this path that I'm on. I love you So much.

Alright my other Kim is Kimberly Bennett. 

She is so incredibly fabulous.

Each day when I count my blessings, I count her twice.

I don't know if it's possible to thank her, or explain to her how much she means to me, but let me just give it a shot.

This Kim taught me:
To pray every morning and night
To JuMp at the thought of service
To volunteer to Pray and read at church
To Love everyone as much as I can
To smile when it's hard
To cry in the closet
To work hard
To play hard
To trust
To love

Kim just has a way about her. When she's around everyone feels happy. When Kim is around there are always smiles.

I remember one time I didn't have any hairspray because I accidentally put my new hairspray in my carry-on at the airport. Kim bought me new hairspray.



When she first found out about my love for Cranberry sauce, guess what was waiting at my house?




A head massager for my daily headaches.

Medicine when I'm sick.


Food when I'm hungry.



But can I say that most of all she just loves me. She just loves. More than loving though, I guess is that my Kimmie shows me that she loves me, through her words, her actions, her quality time spent with me, the gifts that she gives, both tangible and not. She gives gives gives and she will forever be my sister because of it.


I love you Kimmies! I love you because you both have shaped my life in ways that I cannot even begin to write down with my meager words. I cannot express my love or appreciation for all you have done. Your sweet influence will FOREVER be close to my heart.

Stress Get Thee Hence

Part of being healthy, happy, and eager so serve the Lord is taking care of myself. Getting enough sleep, eating right, exercising and all that jazz.....

But it's so hard! Sometimes I just get overwhelmed and need to take some time for myself. But what happens when you can't take time for yourself? Well....read on eager beaver.

Approximately 5% of the general public suffer from general anxiety disorder in their lifetime, and as women, we're even more likely to suffer from this often debilitating disorder.

I recently fell victim to stress and was experiencing some pretty great stress headaches.

I needed some help! As a psychology student it was pretty easy because two of my classes were all about stress management. So, along with some prescription pain killer I  jumped into what I thought would be most helpful: Relaxation Techniques and Positive Psychology.

Positive psychology is this field of psychology that is all about positive thoughts and all that great stuff. A small part of positive psychology is what is called a Positive Affirmation. A positive affirmation is when you tell yourself a statement that foreshadows what you want to be. Maybe it's an attribute that you do not yet possess but that you would like to possess, you must say it as though you already possess it. Here's my best shot. Oh yeah, you have to read them EVERY DAY!

My list of Positive Affirmations

1. I am a kind person who is sensitive to the needs of others.
2. I have a positive attitude, and I have joy in others success.
3. I am understanding and treat people as people.
4. I am patient with the shortcomings of others because God is patient with me.
5. I am humble and accept the will of God.
6. I do not worry about things that I cannot change.
7. I show my love for Heavenly Father by actively serving others.
8. I show my love for my Heavenly Father by keeping his commandments.
9. I smile and laugh everyday because I know that I have so much to be grateful for.
10. I use my time wisely and effectively.


Next, relaxation techniques. This one is super great. You go through a set of tensing and relaxing your muscles so your body remembers what they should feel like (relaxed). Through out the day you do a personal check and make sure you're not carrying stress in your muscles. It's pretty fabulous.

As I become less tense and focus on things that really matter I'm better able to help serve the other people around me. I guess the overall moral of this story is....talk to yourself like you talk to your best friend. Be nice, be patient. I love learning and growing, it's really what this life is all about.


http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/positiveaffirms.htm
http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/affirmations.htm#.UHr95MVFvwU