His name is Brent Slife, and he's one of the few teachers that I have that is not LDS here at BYU.
He's a really fabulous example of living his religion, he's Christian, and he knows it.
But even better, I can tell that he believes is Jesus Christ as his Savior because of the way that he lives his life and teaches my class.
On our first day of class I wrote this down, "How do I make my life more Christian? (Daily?)"
I feel like a lot of the time I think that I'm Christian, but I neglect to thank and acknowledge my Heavenly Father in all that I do.
I went on to write in my notes, "Professor Slife mentioned a man today that goes to church primarily to receive more business. Everyone in the class chuckled. And I did too, but then I thought of all the reasons I go to church that aren't solely based on worshiping Christ."
I go to church to see the guy I like, to talk with my friends, to hear great stories and to be uplifted. I go to church to show off a new outfit, or how I did my hair. I go to church so others will think that I am spiritual.
But are any of those reasons the right reasons?
I believe that worshiping on Sunday is very important, but I wonder what Heavenly Father would have me do? Live my religion daily? Through my thoughts, words, and actions?
Or to merely go to church?
I guess what I'm getting at is this.
I think it's important to do the right things, but more important to do the right things for the right reasons. It's good to call myself a Christian, but it's better to live a Christ-Centered life. It's important to keep the commandments, but it's the best to follow the guidance of the Spirit.
It's about living the religion that I believe, not just calling myself a Latter Day Saint.
I'm trying to change the way I think about being Christian so that I will be better able to use the atonement in my daily life.
A line of one of my favorite songs goes like this, "Because I am his daughter, I want my devotion to him to be what they see."
I want the way that I act to help others come to know Christ, and hopefully by continually working on characteristics that will happen.
I always imagined my first kiss to be pretty neat. Potentially riding along the beach on a white stallion. Maybe some wind blowing through my hair, that kind of stuff.
(A scene from Romancing the Stone, one of my favorites)
But my first kiss was nothing like that. My first kiss happened in the movie theater and I was trying to watch Pirates of the Caribbean.
Looking back now the most commical part of that experience was that I was really upset. I was trying to watch the movie, and this guy was trying to get in a little smooch.
Now, I'm sure you're wondering what in the world this has to do with a virtue that I've been working on. Well...let me tell you:
I was mad, so much in fact that I held a grudge for a while. I didn't want to forgive him for #1 ruining the movie, and #2 for making my first kiss anything but romantic.
I finally forgave him, but I decided that holding a grudge, especially over something so silly, was absolutely outrageous.
All silliness aside.
I've really been working on forgiving people. I had to ask myself, "Why is it so hard to forgive others, and also to forgive myself?"
This is what I decided:
As human beings we seek for the approval of others. When something goes wrong, when someone hurts us, when they lie, or yell or say a snide remark, we paint ourselves as the victim of their ferociousness. We want to be able to blame our hurt feelings, or insensitivity, and
our tears, on their actions. When the others around us stand on our side and back us up we find that justification of being angry, in being the victim, and in being right.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've really tried to transform the negative emotions of non-forgiveness and build on a stronger foundation. I decided to write a letter to everyone that I have blamed, that I have felt has hurt me, and to those who, whether or not it's justified, I just don't like. At the end of the letter, I wrote down all of their names, and promised that I would never say another mean thing about them, not foster any harmful thoughts in my mind. Instead, I said that I would love them with my heart, like Christ loves me.
I also made a list of things that I would remind myself of:
1) Could this be my fault?
2) Do not play the victim.
3) Forget about holding grudges.
4) Think of others as REAL people.
That last point, number 4, that one has really been making me think lately. When we see each other as people, all of those bad feelings, the unnecessary judging and hating, they go away. We not only forgive, but we have nothing to forgive, because we don't take offense. Some of you might be familiar with this idea, because it's found in my very-favorite-of-all-time book, Bonds that make us free. If you haven't read it. Do! It is fabulous, it will change your world and the way you think of others.
Finally, what are my thoughts without a quote from Elder Holland?
"However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don't have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines.
Whether you are not yet of our faith or were with us once and have not remained, there is nothing in either case that you have done that cannot be undone. There is no problem which you cannot overcome. There is no dream that in the unfolding of time and eternity cannot yet be realized. Even if you feel you are the lost and last laborer of the eleventh hour, the Lord of the vineyard still stands beckoning. "Come boldly [to] the throne of grace," and fall at the feet of the Holy One of Israel. Come and feast "without money and without price" at the table of the Lord."
Don't you just feel the Love of God? One of my all time favorite quotes, "It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines." Whoa! Right? So great.
There is nothing that anyone can do that you cannot forgive, because He has already paid the price for it. There is NOTHING that you cannot forgive yourself of, because the light of Christ shines far beyond how low we can ever sink. I love forgiveness. I love to forgive and I love to be forgiven, it's one of the most wonderful feelings in this life.
Proverbs 31: 10&26
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies...She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
Being kind turned out to be a whole-heck-of-a-lot harder than I intended it to be.
I guess it's a good thing that I had such a hard time being kind, because I really got to work on Becoming Better.
It seemed like such a simple concept, be nice to people. But then life stepped in and threw me new people and new situations that just frustrated me. Although these past couple of weeks have been hard for me, I decided to remember some acts of kindness that others provided. It helped me to be kind.
First story. I was previously employed at a place that really frustrated me, the people seemed consistently rude, and I seemed to cry at work everyday. (I know, I'm sure you're very surprised)
But one day, something magical happened.
(Magic Johnson)
After a very long day at work, after hundreds of people had hung up on me, and cursed at me, a very kind woman said, "No, Thank You dear, and God bless you."
I started crying again, but this time it was a different kind of tear, it was the kind of tear that came straight from my grateful heart. Because. Indeed God has blessed me, with so so much.
(Blessings just to name a few, Ryan, Devin, and Nathaniel, and of course the beautiful mountains)
Next story.
Once upon a time I got the worst flu of my life.
No really though. It was bad. 24 hours of complete dreadful awfulness.
A midst all the horribleness I had this friend. She's really not like any other friend that I've ever been blessed to share a friendship with.
Beautiful Kimmie
She gave me ice cubes and zinc. She read me children's books and got me crackers and sprite and all the stuff that your mommy gives to you.
(SkippyJon Jones, one of my favorite children's books)
She exhibited the most Christ-Like love that anyone has ever shown to me.
Alright. Finally I couldn't tell about the kindness shown to me in my life if I didn't give a little shout out to Sherri Hanna (and of course, the rest of the Hanna Clan)
Little Rachel had just passed away and I found my little seven year old self at the Hanna's. I remember the look on Greg's face as he reminded me that I didn't need to cry. I remember him reaching up and wiping the tears off my face, placing that little tear in my pocket, and telling me, "Save this for another day."
The most distinct memory I have of that day though is what Sherri did for me.
Although her precious daughter had been taken from her, she looked at me, and held me in her arms. Then she did something that has forever made an impression on me.
She thumbed through dozens of pictures of her little girl, found just the right one, and then cut it out. She found a frame that fit just right, and then she gave it to me.
In hind sight I'm sure that she wanted to savor every picture that she had of Rachel, but instead she spread the joy of her daughter to so many of Rachel's girl friends.
That picture has been on my mantle for 13 years now. I've carried it in my pocket. I've kissed it goodnight. I'm so grateful for that little reminder.
I think the reason why all of these stories are particularly powerful to me is because they show real Christ-Like Love. The Kind people in my life have been there to remind me to stop thinking of myself. Being kind is about knowing the needs of others, and then faithfully putting them before your own...
It's hard to be nice. It's hard to take the blame. To brush off a rude comment. To smile through the tears. But it's all so incredibly worth it.
Joseph B. Wirthlin said,
"Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes."
So team. Let's do this. Let's be more kind.
Finally, one last quote.
"Jesus, our Savior, was the epitome of kindness and compassion. He healed the sick. He spent much of His time ministering to the one or many. He spoke compassionately to the Samaritan woman who was looked down upon by many. He instructed His disciples to allow the little children to come unto Him. He was kind to all who had sinned, condemning only the sin, not the sinner. He kindly allowed thousands of Nephites to come forward and feel the nail prints in His hands and feet. Yet His greatest act of kindness was found in His atoning sacrifice, thus freeing all from the effects of death, and all from the effects of sin, on conditions of repentance." - Joseph B. Wirthlin
With all my flaws, sometimes it seems almost impossible.
But with the shining example of a Loving Savior, I was able to learn a little about Love this week.
The following little story started my week off:
"Upon returning home from his day's work, this father greeted his boy with a pat on the head and said, 'Son, I want you to know I love you.' The son responded with, 'Oh Dad, I don't want you to love me, I want you to play football with me.' Here was a boy conveying a much-needed message."
I may feel loved when others express words of affirmation, or hug me without a question, where as my best friend might feel loved when he spends time with people that love him. We're all so very different, and it's important to Love people in a way that they need.
Christ said, "What manner of men ought ye to be? ...even as I am."
When I think of Love, I think of Christ. The service he gave, and the lives he touched. He knew just how to Love everyone.
I think of the Continuous Atonement, the purest act of true Love ever given. Christ gave the greatest gift, himself.
I've found that it feels wonderful to serve. To truly, selflessly love is what makes life worth it.
This week I did more random acts of kindness than I can ever remember doing. I'm so glad I did. I was able to really feel the Love of the Savior for the people around me.
(President Hinckley retold this story that his father told him)
Finally I want to touch on a subject that has been on my mind, and that was brought to my attention about two years ago by my wonderful former Bishop.
I was taught by a man that said it much more eloquently that I ever can, but despite my tied tongue, I hope to portray one of the most important principles I ever learned, and this is it:
Fill Your Void With Love.
Fill it with family, and friends, and smiles.
Jesus said, "that whoso repenteth and is baptized in my name shall be filled"
We all have those places in our hearts that seem to be empty at times. Some strive to fill this empty space with expensive jewels, fancy cars, or big screen TV's.
Some fill their void with alcohol, drugs, or pornography..
But Christ said that if we repent,and are baptized, he'll fill that void for us.
If you want to truly find happiness in this life. Fill that void with Love. At first, it will not be easy. But, I promise the first time you see a smile on someone's face, because of a random act of kindness that you partook in, you will feel it happen.
The happiness of childhood will return. Your heart will smile.
Yesterday I cried in my closet with my best friend. She reminded me what true love really is. She reminded me that sometimes the most wonderful thing that we can do, is to truly, sincerely, honestly love someone.
Doctrine & Covenants 4: 5-7
5. And faith, hope, charity, and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work.
7. Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Amen.
( My Kimberly drew this...it's me)
I've been on a Love kick lately. Reading about Love, talking about Love, and watching movies about Love. (I watched The Vow and Moulin Rouge in the same week, it was almost too much for me!) You probably know where I'm going with this, and you're right! The next couple of weeks I'm going to work on Loving.
I decided to start with reading about a man that Loved the people of the world and also dearly loved his wonderful wife. As I was reading the book "Standing For Something" by Gordon B. Hinckley I came upon this little gem of a quote...
"...love is more than a paper heart. Love is the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is not found only at the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arches across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage,and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. How rich are those who enjoy it in their associations with family, friends, and neighbors! Love, like faith, is a gift of God. It is also the most enduring and most powerful virtue."
-President Gordon B. Hinckley
(Double Rainbow)
Today I went to a fireside at which one of the area seventy spoke. When he asked the congregation what they wanted out of this life, I simply thought, "I want to be more Christlike, and to be a mother that teaches her children to be Christlike."
That's what I want. The speaker also sparked my interest by reminding me that I want to be a great parent, because I am loved by an omnipotent, forever patient, perfectly loving, Father in Heaven.
Who wouldn't want to be like that?
Philippians 4:8-9
8. Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
9. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you"
Finally. Listen to this song. I think he really loves his wife, and you can tell because even though times are hard, he's still standing next to her, holding her up when she can't do it by herself, that's just what Christ would do.
Benjamin De Hoyas of the Seventy said that, "Perseverance in making correct decisions is what leads us to happiness." Interesting that he didn't say, "making correct decisions is what leads to happiness."
It's all about perseverance.
I've learned the lesson that perseverance leads to happiness because I Have Gone Fishing.
Anyone who has ever fished a day in their life knows that fishing is a roller coaster of emotions. There's a lot of waiting around, and seldom do you actually reel in anything worth keeping. But when you do actually persevere through the boring spells, you just might catch a big one.
And so it is with life.
I have found that there is always something to be happy about. There's nothing wrong with having bad days, actually, bad days are what make the good days seem so good. But when it comes down to it, our attitudes determine how happy we are, not the situations that we are in.
So, here's to having a happy attitude, because in the end A Happy Attitude Makes For A Happy Life.
In honor of trying to work on being happy these next couple of weeks I wrote a poem about some of the things that were making me happy. I was on a flight home to California when I wrote this down.
(The topic of Happiness was inspired by Cassie Pelton, a wonderful example of Happiness in my life)
Happiness is bright purple pansies
And a smokey, orange colored moon
Happiness is a flight from Salt Lake
Back to my Home-Sweet-Home
Happiness is a pink, giggly baby
And our Hike to that cold Waterfall
Happiness is going to bed late
And knowing that you'll still call
Happiness is warm, sweet embraces
From my wonderful, kind Best Friends
Happiness is knowing you love me
When the long day finally ends
Happiness is Eskimo Kisses
And a fountain of "untreated water"
(That one's for you Ricardo)
Happiness is talking to Papa
And knowing he still loves his daughter
Happiness is a light from Heaven
Shining down on a tear stricken face
Happiness is sharing an ice cream
And letting you have the last taste
(This cute little ice cream is for you Kimberly Bennett)
